10 Reasons To Have A Best Friend

 

The Daily Mail published an article “Teachers tell children not to have ‘best friends’ in primary schools… to prevent the pain of falling out.” I was a bit shocked at the headlines and wondered what was contained in the report.

My findings were as follows:

  • Primary schools are adopting a ‘no best friends’ policy to shield children from the pain of falling out.
  • Critics are warning it is preventing youngsters from learning about the ups and downs of life.
  • Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni, who provides counselling for children in London, said the practice of teachers encouraging kids to play in large groups instead of developing tight-knit bonds is increasingly common. She said teachers have consulted her about the rights and wrongs of the policy, but stressed they should not be interfering with friendships and that it is natural for children to want a best friend.

Ms Sbuttoni added: ‘If they break up, they have to feel the pain because then they’re learning to deal with it.

As parents, we’re all trying to prevent our children feeling pain, but what we should be doing is helping them bear it and find solutions, rather than trying to take it away.’ (The Daily Mail Newspaper)

The aim of this post is to point out a few reasons why having friends/best friends in our lives is quite important.

Like many relationships they always standout, and are people you depend on the most.

Our best friends truly make life worth living and in no particular order, here are 10 reasons to have best friends:

Connection: Having someone that you share a special connection with is very important. Its not often that you will bond closely with a group of friends and it is sometimes hard to really engage in a conversation as well as interact in large groups. Simply sharing one on one time with someone who knows you well, is great for friendships.

Sounding Board: It’s always great to have a sounding board. With a best friend you can always have those in depth conversations and there are no blanks to fill. A friend is able to offer you sound advice when needed.

Honesty: A best friend is more likely to tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear. They are often honest and loyal and this is an essential ingredient in building close relationships.

Companionship: Friends are interested in being around you and time spent with a best friend is truly precious because they serve as great companions.

Support: A friend is able to offer support and encouragement much like a family member. They also comfort you during the difficult seasons and phases of life and stand by you through the good or bad times.

Boost self esteem: Friends can take you from being down in the dumps to a level of feeling great. Sometimes a good friend knowing just what to say makes you feel better and certainly boosts your self esteem.

Forgiveness: Although difficult, but best friends will often engage in the acts of forgiveness when hurt because of the foundation of your friendship.

Life lessons: Friends create/provideopportunitiesto meet new people and expose you to different social circles as well as enhance networking. They also render all kinds of help and get involved in your personal growth and development.

You don’t have to impress them: Sometimes when you start up new friendships, it is important to make a good impression and you tend to worry about your appearance and other factors. It’s different with a best friend because you are quite comfortable around them.

Best friend relationships last for years: Knowing a group of people that you generally hang out with is fine, but developing a meaningful relationship or bond with someone, can lead to you keeping that same relationship for years down the line.

Having a best friend can be one of the most meaningful relationships you can have in your life.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

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8 Comments

Julie | A Clear Sign

about 3 years ago

Hi Ayo, Do you notice that you go to specific friends for specific things? Like when I need a dose of cheer I go to Laura or if I need a reality check I go to Derek, etc. I have young children and the one thing I notice is how much happier and better they feel, act, communicate and study when they're in the process of forming a new friendship. Friends may be here for a season or a reason - I truly believe we are each other's earth angels and we come into each other's life for needed emotional support, learning, and growth.

Reply

Ayo Olaniyan

about 3 years ago

hello julie how are you? thanks for contributing to the article. i totally agree that we have friends who we align to for specific things. i also believe that encouraging friendships at any levels is particularly helpful in our growth and development. some friendships last for a season while others exist for a reason as you've rightly pointed out. i am lucky to have a best friend of 23 years although we are in different boroughs we still make time to catch up on things happening to us. take care of yourself and enjoy the rest of the day

Reply

emmanuel

about 3 years ago

hey whats going on ayo very thoughtful article although i kinda agree with julia that we have friends for different reasons or should i say buddies. anyhow? are you sure we arent wrapping children in cotton wool. safe man

Reply

Ayo Olaniyan

about 3 years ago

hello emmanuel how are you? thanks for your kind words and i agree with the concept of having buddies, however on the issue of wrapping our children in cotton wool, only time will tell. take care and enjoy the rest of the day

Reply

Noch Noch | be me. be natural.

about 3 years ago

I think having a best friend speask to our self esteem as well I've realized though, that I call quite a few people my best friend, but they don't necessarily reciprocate :( noch noch

Reply

Ayo Olaniyan

about 3 years ago

hello noch noch how are you? friendships definitely boosts our esteem. it's a shame people dont often reciprocate your kind gestures. i would send a copy of your article in a day or two and thanks for taking part. take care and enjoy the rest of the day

Reply

Melody | Deliberate Receiving

about 3 years ago

Hi Ayo, It's so sad to think that teachers are actually discouraging friendships! I agree with you - it is not our job to shield kids from pain, but rather helps them cope with it. Our relationships offer us the biggest opportunity for growth, and the deeper that connection, the bigger that opportunity becomes. Other people mirror our beliefs and thoughts back to us, and those we trust the most, those that we are willing to be most vulnerable with, can help us with our biggest fears. Discouraging this kind of bond just to avoid a little potential pain is like never leaving the house again because it might rain. But, there's ultimately nothing to worry about. Kids know better and especially today's kids won't let themselves be trained out of what they know nearly as easily as past generations. Teachers can actively try to screw them up, but they'll have little success ultimately. Perhaps the friendships will be secret, but if there's a bond to be formed, it will be. :) Huge happy shiny puppy hugs! Melody

Reply

Ayo Olaniyan

about 3 years ago

hello melody how are you? it's great to have you here again. you've summarized succinctly everything written in this post and trust me there's nothing more to add lol!! take care of yourself and enjoy the rest of the day

Reply

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