Please Note: This post doesn’t promote the notion of being taken for granted.
A research carried out by Dr. Patricia Chang and her colleagues states ‘Angry young men risk heart attacks.’ It showed angry young men were five times more likely than their calmer counterparts to have an early heart attack, even without a family history of the condition.
Now if that got you worried, you’ve got to read this….
Dr. Aaron Sell and his colleagues carried out a research and came to a conclusion ‘Pretty women are angered more easily.’ (Did anyone chuckle?). They found out that women who rated themselves as pretty displayed a war-like streak when fighting battles to get their own way because they had higher expectations of what they deserved.
So much for the researches carried out, I leave you with the words of Ingrid Collins a Consultant psychologist of The London Medical Centre, ‘The latest findings are interesting but should be interpreted with caution. This is a small study on a very limited sample group, so it’s not possible to generalise.’(with reference to the last research)
The Free Online Dictionary defines losing one’s temper as a sudden outburst of anger. It’s a natural feeling, experienced when you feel frustrated, hurt, rejected or hostile. It’s a powerful emotion, and if it isn’t handled properly, could having a damaging effect on you, your family, friends……
No matter how hard you try not to, occasionally you are going to blow up but the aim of this post is to suggest a few reasons to control your temper, encourage an assertive behaviour (with a bit of common sense) and list ways of recovery once you’ve lost it.
You may lose your temper if:
- You’ve been offended as a result of a betrayal or being lied to.
- You are experiencing so much stress.
- It’s become a bad habit over time.
- You feel threatened, fearful and your self esteem is on the decline.
- You disagree with people over their thoughts, manners or ideals
- You have unrealistic expectations on several issues, people….
- You are a control freak.
- You make so many comparisons with other people’s children spouses, jobs…….. (could this stem from your envy?)
- At times an experience of sexual frustration.
- There’s a feeling powerlessness associated with losing one’s temper either at children because of issues centred on discipline, manipulation………..
The list is endless……………………….
British scientists’ state healthy people who lose their temper are 19 per cent more likely to die of a heart attack than those who keep their emotions under control and among those who already have heart disease; ferocious outbursts raise the risk of dying from their condition to 24 per cent. (Courtesy Daily Mail)
Here are 25 reasons not to lose your temper:
- You are able to control your emotions
- You are able to control what actions you take
- You end up listening and pay more attention to details.
- You are able to use your head as well as your heart.
- You don’t end up living with regret as a result of the words or you’ve said, insults given or actions taken.
- It reduces the risk of having a heart disease.
- It gives you room to forgive others.
- It reduces the risk of a high blood pressure
- It refrains you from exhibiting a bullying behaviour.
- It helps to keep you physically and mentally healthy.
- You avoid all forms of violence (especially domestic violence) and possible self harm.
- It reduces the risk of losing loved ones.
- It builds intimacy.
- It preserves your integrity and dignity.
- It promotes happiness.
- It allows you address the problem clearly and gives you an understanding of how to handle it should it occur in the future.
- You are able to take informed decisions based on your views/perspectives of people, events and situations.
- You could dig up some humour out of the current situation.
- It improves or enhances better communication.
- You build stronger relationships.
- It prevents you from being too hard on yourself
- It allows you think positively.
- It prevents you from sending out wrong signals or giving a different impression .
- It stops you from feeling dejected.
- It gives you peace of mind.
Please Note: It is not having angry feelings that causes problems, but what you do about it and how you express it.
What to do when you’ve lost it?
- Regain your composure.
- Accept your very human error.
- Be willing to compromise.
- Avoid harbouring so many thoughts about any individual, situation or circumstance.
- Choose your battles carefully.
- Talk yourself down.
- Learn to relax and meditate.
- Talk to someone (friend, family, professional…) about it
How do you get your message across to someone who has hurt/upset you?
Become assertive: Being assertive is a healthier way to express anger than aggression.
You could do the following:
- Speak up for yourself but in a controlled manner.
- Tell people you feel angry about a situation, an event….
- Talk slowly and clearly
- Focus on using the words I, in order to make sure it’s clear that it’s about you and not them.
- Make requests rather than demands or threats.
- Enhance your communication skills and body language.
Do you still feel like losing your temper? Hmmh!!! Your guess is as good as mine.
I look forward to your comments and suggestions.