Have you come across or experienced the wrath of control freaks?
They rear their ugly heads in our relationships, families, jobs……..
The big question is:
Who is a Control Freak?
Dr Les Parrott III in his book ‘The Control Freak’ defines Control Freaks as people who care more than you do about something and won’t stop at being pushy to get their way. They could be pushy, manipulative, self-centred, or power hungry people who always want to have their way. Control Freaks come in all forms, shapes and sizes. They could be militant dictators, prime ministers, bosses, colleagues, spouses, boss, parents……
This post focuses on the desire to control/manipulate individuals for negative or selfish reasons and looks at various ways of dealing with such character.
It’s perfectly natural to feel the need to control our surroundings and, to a certain extent the people we have relationships with. I think there are situations where control needs to be exercised in moderation or we become branded as irresponsible individuals.
It’s also possible to achieve a constructive and healthy balance on several issues; when you are open to healthy discussions, debates, ideas rather than ‘IT’S MY WAY OR NEVER!!!!’
The characteristics of control freaks are as follows:
- Constantly worrying over nothing.
- Live a life of fear and self denial.
- Rarely think you are wrong
- Demonstrate extreme jealousy and have possessive characters.
- Are gifted in the art of emotional blackmail.
- In extreme cases, they display acts of violence, abuse……
- Totally obsessed with perfection.
- Excessively critical of themselves and others…………………………..
The aim of this post is suggest a few ways of dealing with the control freaks you come across in your daily lives.
Most “control freaks” are unhappy and insecure people who don’t understand how their words and actions can affect people
In no particular order, here are 30 tips for dealing with control freaks.
- Behave consistently calm and patient with them. Getting angry just doesn’t work.
- If it is a personal relationship and it has become abusive, take a break and move on in your life.
- Monitor their anxiety levels. Control freaks have no coping skills when stressed and that could explain why they flare up at times.
- Always find a way out of the grasps of a control freak.
- If you feel you are in any form of danger, it’s best you avoid such people or secure the help of friends family, police……
- Create friendly banter/humour.
- Make decisions and stand by them.
- Stay focused on your job, health and other important things that concern you.
- Show a bit of assertiveness in your dealings with them.
- Summon the courage to walk away.
- Work on developing the necessary will power to take action.
- Set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t agree to demands that are propagated by his/her fears.
- Express yourself clearly and constructively stating how you feel about a particular event . Make sure you keep it simple and avoid arguing.
- Engage in deep and meaningful conversations.
- Seek the help of a professional counsellor, psychotherapist, police, and social services if necessary.
- Build your self esteem.
- Always stand your ground in any encounter.
- Avoid panicking and learn to use your intuition.
- Don’t have unrealistic expectations of a change in their behaviour.
- Know your limits and how much you can tolerate.
- Always remain confident in your approach.
- Sometimes silence is actually golden.
- Figure out what triggers their outbursts.
- Always organize and prioritize your work schedules.
- Recognize your skills, talents and contribution to the work force or building a relationship.
- Be proud of who you are. Appreciate your beauty, good looks, friends, family.
- Don’t settle for less.
- Work on your vulnerability.
- Try spotting subtle suggestions, ideas or love advances which are bent on manipulating you.
- Have optimistic thoughts about your future once you break free from a dangerous.
If you are a control freak or has been under the reins of one, it would be great to have your comments and suggestions.