40 Relationship Spoilers

I was working on a case study today for one of my assessments and I had to read a book Positive Psychology In A Nutshell By Ilona Boniwell and I must say it’s a good textbook for anyone studying or wanting to know more about positive psychology.

I came across a section which contained a brief list of 10 things/actions which damage relationships. I decided to blog on it, generating 40 points and expanding them to the best of my ability.

Remember the theme for the month of December is all about relationships.

The post in context:

It centres on several actions, behaviours you exhibit consciously or unconsciously which subtly damage the relationships you’ve spent time building with your friends, partners or spouses.

These spoilers’ attempts to help you examine your relationships identify those common to you particularly if you are in a struggling relationship. Hopefully you should be able to nip it in the bud and consider maintaining a healthy relationship.

In no particular order, here are 40 Relationship Spoilers.

• Being self-centred and very selfish.
• Constantly telling lies.
• Not listening to or paying attention to the needs of your friend, spouse……….
• Having the notion you are always right.
• Showing a betrayal of trust in your relationship.
• Being jealous
• Failure or forgetting to say the words ‘I love you’.
• Displaying fits of anger all the time
• Making unnecessary assumptions in your relationship.
• Criticizing your friend/partner/spouse all the time.
• Refusing to make compromises.
• Constant fights and disagreements
• Becoming over bearing and too dependent on the other person.
• Failing to apologize or say the words I am sorry when you’ve done wrong.
• Being verbally or physically abusive.
• Being too demanding.
• Failing to acknowledge, forgive and move on in the relationship once the other half is trying to resolve a dispute.
• Making comparisons with other relationships.
• Spending so much time watching television or on the internet.
• Flirting with other people.
• Excessive alcohol intake and drug abuse.
• Excessive spending and bad financial management
• Experiencing stress in your relationships
• In marriage, a courtship etc being addicted to porn eventually destroys the whole relationships.
• Failure to sacrifice time, money, presence for your friend, partner or spouse.
• Constant use of foul language which portrays total disrespect or disregard for your other half.
• Spending long hours with people of questionable character and intentions.
• Fantasize being in relationships with other people.
• Showing an unwelcoming or unfriendly attitude.
• Having an affair.
• Not expressing your true feelings when you are hurt, happy, sad or elated.
• Not showering praises on your friend, partner or spouses attempt to make your day.
• Constantly reminding your friend/spouse of past mistakes or experiences.
• Becoming unnecessarily possessive or obsessed with your other half.
• Showing no care or concern.
• Making all kinds of promises but failing to keep them
• Attempting to always control or manipulate your friend, partner or spouse.
• Never serious about commitments.
• Procrastinating all the time.
• Making excuses for bad habits.

Once again the aim of this post is to point out where your relationship is taking a turn for the worse and look for various ways to steer it in the right direction.

There are other examples; it would be great to hear from you.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach, an Accredited Professional Counsellor with the Counselling Society and the editor of The Life Skills Magazine. For further information, please complete this form.

Tagged as: close relationships, ilona boniwell, positive psychology