6 Ways to Break Out of Prison

Did I get your attention?

I hope I did. I chose to leave out the word Low Self Esteem. It should actually read; 6 Ways to break out of The Low Self Esteem Prison.

Why use the word prison? A Prison is a place of physical confinement, isolation and restriction to various levels of personal freedom.

The post in context:

I feel the word prison captures the effects of experiencing low self esteem which are isolation, little or no self worth, frustration, depression………

Low Self Esteem refers to the perception of an individual, viewing himself as inadequate, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent. Once this is established in your thoughts/mind, the negative view of self would revolve around every sphere of your life, producing faulty assumptions and an ongoing self-defeating behavior.

Low self esteem affects the quality of your life. You become IMPRISONED with the feelings of insecurity, take fewer risks, communicate less and this restricts various opportunities available for your personal growth or development.

There was an article on the BBC website dated the 9^th of July 2009 Self Help Makes You Feel Worse. While my opinion differs from that statement in the context of positive and progressive personal development, I tend to agree with the concept of the article and support the statement by Simon Gelsthorpe, a psychologist with Bradford District Care Trust.

I felt a need to blog on this, attempting to highlight low self esteem symptoms, suggest ways in which we can handle it, inorder to promote our personal development. It’s not about relying heavily on positive affirmations, statements, mantras etc alone, but working out an approach to building self confidence over a certain period.

Low Self Esteem symptoms are as follows:

1. Feeling that you’re not good enough – even if you are.
2. A decreased level of self confidence associated with putting yourself down all the time.
3. The feeling of being overwhelmed by the purpose of life.
4. The doubts of making any personal achievement and being too scared to try out new things to enhance your personal development.
5. Feeling uncomfortable with your looks – too fat, too slim, too short, too tall.
6. Always worrying about getting even with people.
7. Always being the victim, blaming others for your problems.
8. Social withdrawal.
9. Being unnecessarily fearful and concerned over what people think or imagine about you.
10. The feeling of Self neglect.

The following tips can help you break out from The Low Self Esteem Prison:

Engage in activities you like.

Engage in activities that you like, knowing you can excel. This boosts your level of confidence. Know what aspects of your life that need development. It improves your personal/professional growth, promotes your strengths and fosters positive relationships or work ethics e.tc.

Your talents, abilities should be maximized to their optimal level in order to achieve purpose and direction for your life.

When you identify and engage in these areas with purpose, you earn the self-esteem that you feel you deserve.

Address your weaknesses.

Our weaknesses tend to box us into a corner, or for the purpose of this topic IMPRISON us. Be rational in laying out on the table various aspects of your life. Find the perfect motivation for changing these aspects in your life and don’t expect a sudden miracle.

Building self-esteem needs purpose and the need to accept changes in your life. Know that patience is a virtue, go slow but sure. Your habits will not change overnight. Rejoice when you make a tiny progressive change using that as a stimulus to propel further quests for personal growth and development.

Acknowledge your positive qualities

Believe in yourself. Feel good about what you have achieved so far, your ability to face the future with confidence and purpose.

Don’t be too hard on yourself.� This is a negative trait which over time, develops into low self esteem.

Stop flogging yourself over mistakes over the past. Learn from your experiences and avoid comparing yourself to other people

Indulge in life’s joys. Spoil yourself occasionally and don’t feel guilty about it.

Rest on your laurels for every victory gained. Take pleasure in, the feeling of euphoria for being able to surpass life’s challenges.

Know your limitations. Know when to push and when to rest. There will always be times when situations will come to a plateau and you are confused on how to proceed. Follow your instincts and learn to be patient.

Interact with positive and supportive people.

I always place emphasis on the need for positive networking because it’s necessary for personal development. Who you associate with influences your thoughts, actions and behaviour. Negative people tend to downplay your ideas, walk over you, patronize you etc. This significantly lowers your self esteem.

Interacting with positive and supportive people tends to reduce of several bouts of low self esteem by impacting your life, making you feel loved, wanted, happy, constructively challenging you to positive growth…..

It’s important to develop a positive/personal support network.

Acknowledge compliments and constructive criticisms.

Positive compliments and constructive criticisms (this shouldn’t be likened to negative talks about your person) shouldn’t be ignored at all. When you put yourself in a position of not being teachable or unworthy praises for work done, or good character possessed, it reflects low self esteem.

Be gracious when receiving compliments or criticisms because they make you better person. It creates a sense of value and allows you contribute positively to the life of others.

Find out your purpose.

Lay down in specific terms what you want to achieve in your life. Being realistic about your goals will enable you formulate specific steps on how to achieve that purpose.When you know what you want, you should be able to set concrete, achievable and measurable goals.

Never aspire to have unrealistic expectations because its end result is low self esteem, depression, disenchantment.

A few ideas:

1. Sit down and examine yourself.
2. Make a list of strengths.
3. List your goals and be sure to create milestones going there.
4. Break down each goal in stages.
5. Maintain optimism. Plan carefully and be firm in what you want to achieve.
6. Make a time frame of what you hope to achieve in a specific period of time.
7. Think about how people could help in reaching or achieving your goals?
8. People behind bars often dream of a better life/future. People who experience low self esteem feel imprisoned but there is a likelihood of the prison doors being wide open without anyone imposing their stay in there.

Take action today to deal with low self esteem.

Finally, IS THERE ANYONE READY TO BREAK OUT OF PRISON?

Your comments will be appreciated.

Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach, an Accredited Professional Counsellor with the Counselling Society and the editor of The Life Skills Magazine. For further information, please complete this form.

Tagged as: building self confidence, confinement, faulty assumptions, frustration, insecurity, low self esteem, perception, Personal Development, personal freedom, personal growth, positive affirmations, purpose of life, restriction, self defeating behavior