Accepting who you are.

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Please Note: This topic was written in the context of being comfortable with yourself as an individual, your gifts, talents. It also focuses on not trying too hard to be a people pleaser and lays emphasis on being the best you can be constructively.

Accepting who you are.

I felt I should blog on this topic after listening to someone talk about who he was and the extra miles he took in trying to please everyone because he never felt comfortable accepting who he was.

Many of us don’t accept who we are because it’s a very difficult thing to do. We are faced with the reality of being honest with the way we live our lives. Some of us would prefer to be born with silver spoons, rich, have different cars, houses, change of figures, have different jobs, marry someone else  etc. but we need to realise we all can’t be rich and famous. We possess unique characteristics which if harnessed properly could equip us on how to become successful in life.

We need to accept who we are, our race, heritage, culture, totality, status etc. and  should seek to develop those positive traits because they form our entire make up.

While growing up I put myself in a situation where I tried so hard to be liked, but eventually got frustrated by carrying out this experiment because it didn’t yield any result. I later discovered being myself, developing my skills/talents, being comfortable and confident anywhere I went, had such a tremendous impact. Let’s face it, ‘WE CAN’T BE LIKED BY EVERYBODY’ and chasing such desires is simply chasing shadows!!

Stop struggling trying to get people notice who you are.You are definitely trying too hard. A quick suggestion; sit down, relax, think about who you really are and accept it. There would be rooms for personal improvement. Go ahead make those changes only 1) BECAUSE IT’S A BETTER OPTION, 2) you would derive satisfaction, fulfillment and progress by doing so. There are several reasons why you should accept who you are:

1) It’s only fair to be yourself because we are humans with different backgrounds, natures, upbringing and character. We all have our strengths, weaknesses and imperfections. Role Models are humans with flaws but they ‘HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO IMPROVE THEIR LIVES AND MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE.’ I have established networks with a few mentors and realized they are just ordinary people who decided to live by principles, make a difference and be themselves.

This reminds me of the ‘WINNERS OF BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT 2009’- DIVERSITY. I watched their first audition and leader of the group came up to mention what they did for a living; engineers, college, university, postgraduate students etc. He summed it up by saying we are just ‘Normal Guys’ but they created such an impact in the hall. (Watch clip.)

2) You can’t be anyone else no matter how hard you try. I see a lot of people trying so hard to present an image because they are scared of accepting who they are. The more you get used to being yourself, the easier it becomes. Even when your flaws rears its ugly head, always show you are conscious of it and is working on ways of improving your total outlook (remember everyone has flaws too!!!) Avoid being little ‘Ms Perfect’ or ‘Mr. Broad Shoulders’ acting all ‘high and mighty’.

3) Be assured certain people will always love you for who you are and would enjoy being around you. I have developed strong bonds and positive relationships with people who just took me for who I was.

4) Finally, because you’ve decided to live an authentic life, you will improve, feel happier and become more confident in accepting who you are.

My question for the day is ‘Do you accept who you are??’

Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach, an Accredited Professional Counsellor with the Counselling Society and the editor of The Life Skills Magazine. For further information, please complete this form.

Tagged as: chasing shadows, confidence, fulfilment, people pleaser, personal improvement, satisfaction, talents