Warning: Brace Yourselves!! It’s a long post, but it’s straight from the heart.

Hello Everyone

Hope you all had a lovely day and Thank God it’s Friday.(laugh)

This post reflects on the position of the blog at the moment and the new projects coming up in a short while.

It’s gradually becoming a community and I’m so grateful and thankful to the wonderful people I’ve come across while embarking on this journey.

So;

To all the subscribers, those who leave comments regularly, visitors….., I say Thank You for contributing immensely to the progress and development of this blog.

I also want to thank Steve Aitchison for providing a platform for me on his blog and allowing me partner with him on a project called ‘Ask The Coach’.

It’s not been an easy journey because there’s always a need to strike a balance between family(the most important part of my life), work, postgraduate studies, private practice, blogging and social media(I’m terrible at this and needs help urgently) but it is worth every time and effort.

Why Discovering Purpose?

Discovering Purpose is all about creating a purpose driven life through personal development and I believe focusing on issues of life (resolving the internal and external conflicts) will give the much needed boost to take a leap forward in life.

Current Projects

In the course of the journey, there have been investments made in several projects. Some have worked in promoting the blog while others have just been a waste of time and money (not mentioning any names, but be very cautious of various article submitters, seo specialists, ads and the likes…. now I use none).

The current projects I’m working on are as follows:

Guest Posts:

My articles have been published on the following blogs:

6 aliens (Ben Lumley)

Change Your Thoughts (Steve Aitichison)

Life Optimizer (Donald Latumahina)

There are a few more in the pipeline; some due to be published soon and the others rejected lol!! YES REJECTED!! because the style of writing and school of thought for their blog is different (was I gutted? Err!! yes, but I respect their decisions. Who knows, I may do it in the future; anyway it’s so funny one of the rejected posts has received the most traffic on this blog in two months lol!!!).

If you are a blogger and won’t mind a guest post from me even if you reject it lol!! please let me know.

There’s also the opportunity to guest post on this blog any time. Please read for further information.

Blog Posts:

After careful thoughts and consideration I would be publishing only two posts on this blog each week for now. This would include guest posts if available.

Coaching Services:

In addition to blogging, working etc., I also run one to one coaching sessions online, face to face and via email or telephone. This is strictly by mutual agreement and only takes on board 5 clients each month for now(2 spaces left for April). Please read here for further information and you can check out my profile.

Please Note: I’m CRB checked and abides by the regulations of the Counselling Society United Kingdom.

Speaking Engagements:

This has kicked off on a small scale but I expect it to grow with time.

A special thank you to all the youth groups, singles or married groups, support homes, communities and churches that have opened their doors with a warm welcome and allowed me to be a source of inspiration to them.

Please Note: I’m available for speaking engagements in youth groups, support centres, motivational forums or seminars and churches(speaking from a biblical perspective on life issues) within the United Kingdom.

Please click here to contact me.

The Life Skills Magazine:

This is the latest baby of discovering purpose. It is a personal development magazine available to email subscribers of this blog and it comprises of articles from different bloggers who are either authors, psychologists, psychotherapists, life coaches, counsellors, social workers, run their own businesses…….. and are heavily involved in personal development.

Anyone is welcome to contribute to the magazine as long as the article is related to personal development and it gets submitted on time. Please read here for further information.

Please Note: The next edition will be published next week and you can subscribe here to receive a copy of the magazine.

A huge THANK YOU goes out to those who have supported me in this dream. It’s not been easy to run, costs money but it’s worth the effort and time because it’s a dream that’s become a reality.

Without your contributions, The Life Skills Magazine would still be a fantasy and I really want you to know I appreciate everyone of you.( I MEAN IT)

Thank you so much guys:

Evan Hadkins (Wellbeingandhealth.net)

Patricia Bechtold (Why Not Start Now)

Steve Aitchison(Change Your Thoughts)

Christine Livingston (A Different Kind Of Work)

James Richmond (The Infopreneur)

Ben Lumley (6 Aliens)

Jen Smith (Reach Our Dreams)

Cheryl Paris (Cheryl Paris Blog)

John Anyasor (HiLife2B)

Mathew Jeffrey (who brings the magazine to life with the graphics and design)

New Projects

There are a few projects that would spring up during the course of the year such as :

Books:

I’m currently working on an ebook titled My Thoughts Are Rubbish. This focuses on negative thoughts, how they affect you, a few ways to boost your emotions, stay happy, have a good time and live with a purpose.

There is also a book titled Don’t Give Up On Life in the pipeline. You can tell I’m passionate about this subject because I’ve blogged on it and there are excerpts in The Life Skills Magazine( not to give too much away for the 3^rd edition).

The post focused on self harm but the book will expand it’s territories. It will look at various approaches(person centred, positive psychology, cognitive behavioural therapy and relational/relationship), relate them to our present day mode of life or living with a view to giving hope to anyone who is on the verge of losing it completely.

I’m open to any form of advice please with regards to self publishing, editing, copy writing, proof reading……. Please Help If You Can.

Competition:

One thing about my late dad was his passion for reading. He had a huge library of books and believe me it was massive.(still is).

I want to start running competitions each month with a view to giving out one book each month. I won’t give out books I haven’t read or reviewed personally for integrity purposes and it must also be beneficial to the winner.

The first competition is scheduled for the 26^th of April and because it’s a special day (can you guess?), I would be giving out 7 books to 7 winners. I’m not sure of the modalities involved in running a competition, delivery periods, processes etc. but I will read up on it and ask questions. If you can offer any assistance, please let me know.

Video Posts:

My friend Ben Lumley sent me an email with tips on how to produce a video for the blog. I also read Steves’ blog yesterday and it contained a lot of information. This is something I’m looking into seriously and is working towards it.

Finally, I hope I haven’t been too boring.

Once again, A BIG THANK YOU TO REGULAR COMMENTERS OR ANYONE WHO HAS LEFT A COMMENT ON THIS BLOG.

Can I share a secret? You make me smileeeeeee.

This is the journey so far and be reminded it’s straight from the heart.

Thanks for taking time out to read this.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions

 Ayo.

It’s that time of the month again and ………

I am pleased to inform every reader and subscriber to this blog, the second edition of The Life Skills Magazine is out now!!!

A TEASER TO WET YOUR APPETITE

Does anyone want a copy?

Subscribe by email to this blog and get a free copy delivered to your mail box.

It’s that simple. Past editions will be available to new subscribers, and you also get two blog posts sent to you weekly. TALK ABOUT A BONUS!!!!

The Life Skills Magazine is collection of personal development and lifestyle articles from various personal development bloggers/writers with the aim of creating a purpose driven life.

The second edition contains:

A thought provoking interview with James Richmond ( The Infoprenuer) who states ‘You Are Already Dead’. He also reminds us of the benefits of working hard, tells us a bit about himself, encourages us to keep pushing……..  James bares his mind with so much confidence; I find it rather motivating, instructing and inspiring.

Christine Livingston of A Different Kind Of Work discusses how to make coaching work for you. She lists a few things to look out for when employing the services of a coach.

Steve Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts  raises 10 Questions To Change Your Life aimed at enhancing your progress and promoting personal development.

Evan Hadkins of Wellbeing And Health.Net  tells you When Something Is Not Working; Something Has to Change. Now what would that be?

Patricia Bechtold of BechTold Life Works talks about Your Inner Magician and The Power Of Naming. She also tells you to focus on your possibilities.

Robert Twomey; A poet in the making writes a poem WHO………….

Cheryl Paris of Cheryl Paris Blog gives us 6 Special Tips To Motivation. She tells you to get your motivation levels back up RIGHT NOW.

The list goes on……….

Thank you so much for the time and effort you’ve put into making this edition come out successful.

Also a very big THANK YOU to Matt Jeffrey of MajDesigns who created the artwork, graphics, and design etc….making the magazine come ALIVE!!! You’ve raised the bar in this edition.

You could also contribute to the next edition of the magazine, please read

In mean time, enjoy reading this issue.

Oh!! One more thing; Don’t forget to GET A COPY by SUBSCRIBING TO THIS BLOG

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

Let’s look inwards for a few minutes; cross-examining your heart, mind … and respond carefully to this question ‘Are You Really Listening?’

Your daily activities involve a lot of listening in order to communicate effectively and properly.

You could engage in discussions with your children, wife, partner, husband, colleagues, bosses, friends, enemies, gossips…………. the list is endless, but Are You Really Listening?

Epictetus makes a profound statement, we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.’

The post in context centres on interpersonal communication and much emphasis is placed on listening because of its importance and huge neglect when realting with people.

What is listening?

The Free Dictionary Online defines listening as making an effort to hear something. It’s a technique for improving understanding of what is being said by taking into account how something is said and the nonverbal signs and body language that accompany it.

Now there is a distinction between hearing and listening; I also acknowledge there are certain people or messages you shouldn’t listen or pay attention to, but this post attempts to highlight the various benefits of active but constrcutive listening and suggest practical tips for becoming an effective listener.

Carl Rogers and Farson (1979) describe active listening as ‘an important way to bring about changes in people.’

They suggested steps such as:

Listening for complete or total meaning: This involves listening for content and underlying emotions.

Responding to feelings: This involves responding to the emotional message being passed across.

Identify all the cues: It is important to watch out for non verbal descriptions or messages.

Winston Churchill states, ‘Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen’.

In no particular order here are 40 benefits of listening:

• It prevents you from jumping into conclusions or making hasty assumptions.
• It builds trust, encourages rapport and develops charisma between individuals
• It enables you accept a person for who he/she is without being judgemental.
• It expands your knowledge.
• It causes you to think.
• At times it could prevent mistakes or misunderstandings.
• It promotes better and effective communication.
• It enables you resolve various problems.
• It allows people feel comfortable and relaxed when talking to you.
• It allows you exercise positive or constructive influence.
• It provides an opportunity for learning.
• It enables you appreciate and understand people better.
• It allows you stay focused on the conversation you are having.
• It warns you of upcoming troubles.
• It shows respect to the speaker indicating that you are genuinely interested in the conversation.
• It allows you consider alternative methods, ideas or approaches.
• It allows you recognise your shortcomings.
• Women and men like being acknowledged and listened to respectively.
• It gives you the confidence to agree on certain issues.
• It allows you interpret ones emotions ie. Understanding when one is happy, sad…
• It allows you understand and identify different body language types.
• It enables you create or place some sort of values on individuals.
• It clarifies any form of confusion going on in your mind.
• It allows you relax and feel loved.
• It keeps you in the picture
• It gives you the guts to negotiate better.
• It enforces your beliefs and views.
• It makes you competent.
• It increases personal power.
• It strengthens bonds in relationships.
• It wades into anger with a view to resolving it.
• It could motivate you.
• It challenges various structures of your thinking and beliefs.
• It promotes optimism.
• It builds self esteem because it implies you may be valuing what someone else is saying.
• It fans the flames of love.
• It enables you display empathy and sympthasize with the talker.
• You are able to reflect the message back to the person speaking
• It helps in making choices.
• It promotes peace

And many more……………………..

There are several tips to become an effective listener.

They are as follows:

• Maintain eye contact and a listening body language.
• Give room for the person to talk without frequent interruptions
• Ask questions.
• Be patient.
• Genuinely show interest in listening to the other party.
• Don’t listen with a bias in your mind.
• Create pictures in your mind about what the person is talking about.
• Think about what you’ve heard before speaking.

And many more…………………….

Once again the aim of this post is to highlight the benefits of listening and suggest a few ways of becoming an effective listener.

I close with these words, ‘ARE YOU REALLY LISTENING?’

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

Yes, you read it here first.

I am pleased to inform every reader or subscriber to this blog, the first edition of The Life Skills Magazine is out now!!!(one day ahead of schedule)

A LITTLE TEASER TO WET YOUR APPETITE

Does anyone want a copy? Subscribe by email to this blog and get a free copy delivered to your mail box. It’s that simple.

Did I hear you say cheers with glasses clinking together?

It’s been a very busy week, packed with so much to do, sleepless nights, but we got there in the end.

The Life Skills Magazine is collection of personal development and lifestyle articles from various personal development bloggers/writers with the aim of creating a purpose driven life.

The first edition contains articles such as:

Planting Thought Seeds For A Better Life by Steve Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts: He talks about the thought seed being a tiny thought that lets you dream momentarily about what your life would be like, if you could have anything.

Self Improvement For Dummies by Evan Hadkins of Wellbeing And Health.Net : This is a simple but thought provoking article. It serves as a guide for people who struggle with being positive, independent and assertive.

Five Stories We Tell Ourselves About Self Re-invention by Patricia Bechtold of BechTold Life Works:  She talks about self-reinvention which is simply discovering something old and ancient within, which requires you to dive deep to claim the parts of you that are unlived and yearning to be expressed.

Heartfelt In Life by Robert Twomey.: A poet in the making, writes a poem reflecting on Valentines Day.

The list goes on……….

A very big THANK YOU to Matt Jeffrey of Maj Designs, who created the artwork, graphics, and design etc….making the magazine come ALIVE!!!

If you want to contribute to the next edition of the magazine, please read.

It would be appreciated, if you could kindly promote this on your blog, facebook, twitter……….

In mean time, enjoy reading this issue.

Oh!! One more thing; Don’t forget to GET A COPY by SUBSCRIBING TO THIS BLOG.

Great News!!! readers and subscribers to this blog.

Introducing ‘The Life Skills Magazine’

This is a collection of various personal development and life style articles from various personal development bloggers.

It’s a free monthly e- magazine and it’s exclusive to email subscribers for now (I am unable to figure out how to incorporate rss subscribers but I’m open to suggestions)

It’s fresh, it’s hot!!!! and the first edition would be available from the 9^th of February 2010.

Feel free to contact me if you want to submit an article or contribute to the development of the e-magazine.

You can also subscribe to this blog by clicking here.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.