This post focuses on memorable events which occurred in our childhood.

It also reminds us of the importance of being involved in the lives of our children rather than just buying gifts or toys in order to make up for lost time. Our children really need all the love, care and discipline they can get from us.

In my experience, it’s not that easy raising children and my aim is to be the best dad(work in progress). I also acknowledge we have difficult schedules; but if all we can give is 30 minutes of our time each day(which is quite small), they need to have our full attention for that period.

The results of a survey published today show at least half a million children in the United Kingdom. are unhappy with their lives.

The key findings in the report include:

• Choice and family have the biggest impact on children’s happiness.
• It is not the structure, but the relationships within a family that children care about. Loving relationships between a child and their family are ten times more powerful than family structure in increasing well-being.
• Stability is important. Children who experience a change in family members they are living with are twice as likely to experience low well-being. Almost a quarter (23%) of children who have moved home more than once over the past 12 months have low levels of well-being.
• Low well-being increases dramatically with age – doubling from the age of 10 (7%) to the age of 15 (14%).
• Children as young as eight are aware of the financial issues their families face. Children in families who have experienced a reduction in income are more likely to have low well-being.
• Children who do not have clothes to ‘fit in’ with peers are more than three times as likely to be unhappy with their appearance. Around a third say they often worry about the way they look. Unhappiness with appearance increases with age and is greater among girls.
• Children who had been bullied more than three times over the last three months were significantly more likely to experience low well-being (36%) than those that had never been bullied (6%).
• Children like to be similar to their friends. Children who have a lot less, or even a lot more pocket money than their friends, have lower levels of well-being.

The report also gives 6 “key priorities” which are essential to a child’s happiness:

• Providing the right conditions for children to learn and develop
• Ensuring they have a positive view of themselves and a respect for their identity.
• Enough of the items and experiences that matter to them.
• Ensuring positive relationships with their family and friends.
• Providing a safe and suitable home environment and local area.
• Providing opportunities to take part in positive activates that help them to thrive.(Culled From The Good Childhood Report 2012)

It’s a sad report to read and my focus will be to draw attention to those fond memories we have of our childhood with a view to drawing us closer to our children in order to create that same or better experience.

My childhood wasn’t rosy and I dare say it was tough growing up. I can recall so many unhappy events but my parents were always there for me even when I misbehaved(laugh!)

This post reflects on the the events or things that brought joy to my heart as a child and I hope to take you down memory lane to relieve those precious moments.

In no particular order, they are as follows:

• Watching wwf(wrestling) with my dad.
• Pillow fights with friends in school.
• Being a boy scout.
• Taking part in school plays.
• Talking to girls.(I almost turned it into a hobby laugh!!)
• Watching my mum bake cakes.
• Watching super ted, voltron, sesame street, animal quackers and the muppet show.
• Drawing super heroes and making comic strips with my cousins.
• Spending quality time with my sisters despite their constant nagging till date(laugh!!)
• Having cousins, relatives sleep over.
• Joining the choir
• Playing basket ball.
• Meatpies and sausage rolls
• Going for birthday parties.
• Going to the supermarkets with the whole family
• Going to my grandmas house and getting apples off her tree.
• School holidays because I could fly my kite.
• Birthdays, Christmas, Easter because they were special occasions to drink a bottle of coke.(My mum and dad made us have fizzy drinks on special occasions only)
• Being loved and cared for by my parents.
• Having an ice cream from my dads bowl.
• Going on trips with the whole family.
• Getting my first police car with a siren.
• Dinner time with the whole family.
• Judo Classes.
• Sadly.. wearing a bandage on my arm. I fractured it 6 times.
• My dads approval and smile combined with mums hug.
• Eating left overs from my eldest sisters plate.
• Going to the park and throwing the frisbee.
• Eating jollof rice and chicken.
• Having a huge stock of provisions in boarding house.
• Getting toys.
• Growing my own back garden with my mum.
• Helping a particular neighbour because we were always rewarded with sweets.
• Playing the flute
• Visiting days in boarding house.
• Playing with the neighbours and we are still close friends even after 25 years.
• Having a best friend.(Although we are not as close as before but I can always run to her/her family if the need arises)
• Going to the pond with friends.
• Wood work and Metal work with Mr. Carlos.

I can go on but I suspect it’s beginning to bore you.

Sigh! Those were the days. Fond memories!

Things have changed now with all the technology, video games, fear of the unknown….

The Challenge

Be inspired to create and maintain an atmosphere of love and care for your children to grow up in.

So,

What made you happy as a child?

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

NB: That’s me in the picture

It’s that time of the month again and ………

I am pleased to inform every reader and subscriber to this blog, the twenty-second edition of The Life Skills Magazine is out now!!!

My sincere apologies for the slight delay in publishing Novembers Edition.

Once again:

A big thank you to everyone who contributed to this months edition.

A TEASER TO WHET YOUR APPETITE

Does anyone want a copy?

Subscribe by email to this blog and get a free copy delivered to your mail box.

It’s that simple. Past editions will be available to new subscribers, and you also get two blog posts sent to you monthly. TALK ABOUT A BONUS!!!!

The Life Skills Magazine is collection of personal development and lifestyle articles from various personal development bloggers/writers with the aim of creating a purpose driven life.

The twenty-second edition contains:

Galen Pearl of 10 Steps To Finding Your Happy Place Looks At Becoming A Victor From Being A Victim.

Stuart Mills of Unlock The Door Says Follow Through And Get Good At It.

Steve Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts Lists 8 Destructive thinking Patterns And How To Change Them.

Ken Wert of Meant To Be Happy Focuses On 10 Beliefs That Will Radically Change Your Life Forever.

The Positive Spin Column: It’s great to have Linda Hewett of the Positive Spin Blog share her journal of living as well as coping with breast cancer and her journey is quite inspiring.

Evan Hadkins of Living Authentically Discusses Four Ways To Deal With People Pleasing.

Dominique Small of 4 Walls And A View looks at 65 Things She Is Grateful For.

JK Hustle of The Hustlers Notebook Looks At Taking Action to Improve the Hustle: One Thing At A Time.

The list goes on……….

Thank you so much for the time and effort you’ve put into making this edition come out successful.

Also a very big THANK YOU to Matt Jeffrey of MajDesigns who created the artwork, graphics, and design etc….making the magazine come ALIVE!!!

Please read to contribute to the next edition of the magazine

Oh!! One more thing; Don’t forget to GET A COPY by SUBSCRIBING TO THIS BLOG.

Enjoy reading this issue.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

****p.s. Look Out For The Special Christmas Edition.****

The post is dedicated to people struggling to find reasons to love again.

I accept there isn’t a one size fits all explanation and acknowledges there are varying degrees of hurt but I promise to approach this subject cautiously and hopes someone would get inspired to love again.

Emotions are bound to run high because there’s a sense of hurt, betrayal and possibly neglect. Besides it’s difficult to really take a position on loving again once an abuse has taken place, dreams are shattered; there is a break down in friendships/relationships…..

However I subscribe to the school of thought which discourages complete closure because there could always be genuine reasons to love again.

Love

The Dictionary.Com defines love as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A strong liking for someone or a feeling of warm personal attachment (parent, child, friend..)

It is a basic human emotion valuing the other person’s/party’s needs and happiness as much as your own.

Renowned psychologist Elaine Hatfield suggests there are two basic types of love:

a) compassionate love

b) passionate love.

Compassionate love: is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, trust and it’s developed from feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.

Passionate love: is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection

This post comes from the heart and it attempts to focus on the reasons why one chooses not to love again and present a few suggestions for you to CONSIDER opening your heart to love.

It’s important to note that I’m writing based on personal experience and counselling studies.

Is it going to be easy?

Er!!! NOOOO!!!! but it’s definitely worth looking into.

Sometimes we find ourselves in different or difficult circumstances and as a result we come up several reasons why it’s no longer necessary to show or express love again.

These range from:

• Being deeply hurt by your friend, spouse, family member, colleague……
• Being dumped or ditched by your boyfriend/girlfriend, partner….
• A breach of trust and a feeling of betrayal
• Your secrets exposed and weakness used against you.
• People making mockery or the fool out of you.
• Infidelities dealing a huge blow to your marriage/relationship giving rise to a divorce or break up.
• Lies being peddled about you or some people just wanting to be intentionally mean to you.
• You’ve been slated, scorned and gossiped about.
• There’s no longer a sign of commitment in your friendship/relationship.
• You’ve been abused and at times may have experienced grievous bodily harm
• People within your circle have shown so much selfishness.
• You showed love and care to people but it wasn’t appreciated.

There are so many examples but these are the few that come to mind immediately.

These are painful experiences and when one considers the entire trauma, pain and hurt, it certainly feels JUSTIFIED not to love again and no one is TO BLAME.

But the question is:

How long can you go on living your life with so much closure and bitterness?

You shouldn’t respond in hurry because you need to consider:

a) The effect of the damage caused physically, mentally, spiritually, socially….

b) The concept of healing; which takes time and you must be ready to give it a chance

c) The truth which is; ‘Hurtful memories can’t be erased and sadly you’ve got to live with the scars.

SO……

‘Is it worth loving again?’

I’d leave that for you to decide.

Once again the aim of this post is to suggest a few reasons /benefits for loving again; leaving you to make an informed decision at the appropriate time.

In no particular order they are as follows:

• It’s a wonderful experience.
• Being hurt or experiencing a broken relationship is never the end of the road because somehow love seems to find a way back to your heart.
• There are support groups, forums, licensed professionals, friends, family members always willing to provide a listening ear and put you back on track with reference to loving again.
• It feeds the need for affection because let’s face it, there are times that you need it
• I dare say this but without love, life is meaningless
• Sometimes love in itself is a risk and it could just pay off.
• This sounds odd but there are people out there wanting/dying to show some love from a sincere heart.
• Sometimes it’s best not to be alone for the rest of your life and love tackles the feeling of alienation.
• People will always be drawn to you.
• You can gradually rebuild trust.
• You deserve the all the good things that life and love has to offer
• It promotes intimacy.
• You regain your self confidence; rebuild your esteem by simply loving again.
• You experience the peace and happiness you so much desire.
• There is always someone to talk to and possibly help you out.
• You develop new relationships and friendships
• Sometimes there is no point being bitter.
• Forgiveness has a way of bringing healing to your mind and soul.
• Not everyone is bad, horrible or would possibly behave like your friends, ex.
• This may be slightly controversial but at times people don’t intentionally set out to hurt you.
• Everyone has their flaws because no one is perfect.
• You tend to make progress in different areas of your life as a result of choosing to love again.
• It gives you the opportunity to share your joys, happiness, sadness, difficulties with someone else.
• Several studies show that love helps maintain brain vitality and ward off mental decline.
• Studies also show that loving others contributes to longevity, better mental health, boosts the immune system, reduces stress, and diminishes the effects of physical maladies
• It tends to reduce ones stress levels because there are memorable moments to make you feel at ease.

Finally:

It may seem difficult but I urge you to please give love a chance today.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions

Please Note: This is a very lengthy article but it’s important I write/share all that’s on my mind today.

The last 8 weeks have been filled with accepting more responsibilities at work, taking care of the family, building my practice blah!! blah!! so it’s not given me so much time to juggle everything around with reference to visiting blogs often(although there’s always a sudden burst of comments once I have read through articles during my spare time) or dealing with blog requests.

However, I’m getting into the swing of things and is trying to manage my time properly.

Today I want to focus on the online relationships I’ve developed and established in the past year.

Although I haven’t had the privilege of meeting most of them in person, their contributions to the blog, magazine and some aspects of my personal life has been worthwhile.

It’s absolutely important they are CELEBRATED on this blog because they’ve clearly provided some form of support system.

Steve Aitchision: I came in contact with Steve browsing through several blogs and asked if he wouldn’t mind me guest posting on his blog.

I would always remember the feeling of getting my first comment on a blog…..(it was priceless).  Steve gave me a lot of guidance on how to build a blog and always emphasized the importance of sticking to ones’ style(although there’s room for exceptions). We also started a ‘program called ‘Ask The Coach which was really successful in terms of the feedback received.

Steve: I know you are very busy at the moment but; you are certainly reaping the rewards of the fruitful seeds you’ve sown. Thanks for giving me the platform to express my thoughts/approach on your blog, it’s certainly made a difference today.

Dominique Small: I came across Dominique’s blog and one thing that has always fascinated and drawn me towards her is the determination to live life and stay on top of issues no matter the circumstances. She’s has so many creative ideas and she was responsible( and is still)for coordinating the bumper& Christmas issues of the life skills magazine with her friends.

Dominique: You are one rare gem and my sincere apologies for the silence in the last 4/5 weeks.

Stuart Mills: I got to know Stuart a few months ago and believe me he’s supported the blog and magazine in tremendous ways. He’s helped the magazine grow by contributing articles each month and having his own column. I can relate with him because we share similar experiences and I guess this is what makes his blog simple, easy to read and understand

Stuart: Stu, I’m so grateful for all you’ve done and whenever you are in London holla at your boy!! Love to Sam.

Jk Allen: Hmmh!! Where do I start from? Is it giving him short notices for articles scheduled to be published on the magazine, or my constant pestering in emails…..

You know you are the man!!. I won’t forget the mail you sent, wishing me a happy fathers day. I never thought of such gestures to my friends online but you showed me a different approach and my conclusions are: Some online friendships stretch far and  go against the norm, stereotypes or traditions by actually providing a personal touch in growing relationships.(This is you JK)

I love what you do, your drive, motivation, ethics…. and the hustle(You’ve created a brand for the term ‘HUSTLE’)

JK: I said this to Stu a while back; in the words of Heavy Dee ‘I’ve got nothing but love for you.’ Love to the family.

Evan Hadkins: I joined the problogger forum a while back and put an ad requesting for bloggers participate in building the life skills magazine. It was an idea I had and thought it would make so many ears itch but was wrong.

I received mails stating how unreasonable it was, why it wouldn’t work, why it was a waste of time, there was no money to be made from the venture…….

Hmmh!! 18 editions down the line and the 19th one being published next week,I have Evan to thank, for being the ONLY person to show interest at that time. This makes him one of the pioneers of the magazine.

Evan: There’s a lot to learn from you/your blog and I’m so grateful for your words of wisdom, support and contributions to the magazine each month.

John Sherry: I met John two weeks ago and I had a great time as we planned to take over the world laugh!! We also had long walks and engaging talks and the cafes were fantastic. What you read on Johns blog is certainly what you see in person. He’s down to earth, very calm and loves COFFEE SHOPS!!

I trust your transition will work out because you’ve worked hard for it. If there’s anything I can do on the blog/magazine/station, please let me know. (Which reminds me i need to send you a file)

John: You are a true gentleman and it was honour meeting you.

Frank Jennings: Frank, Frank. You are one heck of a story teller and has written so many touching as well as challenging posts on your blog. The light house is a winner on my blog any day and its gathered so much traffic.

Lately you’ve started infusing a bit of comedy in your articles and it’s really growing on me.

A big thank you for all the contributions to the magazine, guest posts on the blog, tweets/retweets……..

Frank: You’ve always given your honest opinion and I truly value them.

Dia Thabet: A Confession; I’m always happy to read/see Dia on the blog because most times he’s the first to leave a comment and I was worried a few weeks ago(thought he got bored of the blog) because I hadn’t seen or heard from him.(He was on holidays laugh!!)

Dia: Thanks for you do in promoting this blog; I really appreciate it.

Sibyl Chavis: Now Sibyl is a lady after my heart. I haven’t been too faithful in the last few weeks with reference to visiting her blog and reading her articles but that will soon change as I get into the full swing of things.

If you are really keen on personal development and growth, I suggest you run to Sibyls blog because it’ a fountain of knowledge.

Sibyl: I trust that the risks you’ve taken and your future plans will work in your favour always.

Barbara Zarrella: I visited Barbara’s blog not too long ago; we’ve also exchanged emails on a few occasions and one thing that stands out is her humility for which I have the utmost respect for.

Barbara: You may not realise but your article on mindfulness the way of life, gave rise to the whole theme for the 17th edition of the magazine.

El Edwards: El’s the hostess of happiness and she expresses all thats on her mind in her daily dose of impassionate. El is a generous giver and I have been fortunate to receive from her. If you want to add some sparkle to your life, I suggest you listen to Els podcasts.

El: Thanks for allowing me air your podcasts on the purpose station. I really appreciate your kind getsures.

Melody Fletcher: I stumbled on Melody’s’ blog not too long ago and she’s truly amazing. Her comments on my blog are always appreciated and I’m drawn to a lot of what she writes despite being a law of attraction skeptic (sorry Melody laugh!!). She puts a lot of work and effort in her articles and focuses on real issues. From the bit I know Melody is certainly full of life.

Melody: Thanks for all you do and don’t forget my request for the magazine please (laugh!!)

Debbie Bills: For me, Debbie is the wise one. She is so simple, compassionate and straight to point. I recommend her blog to anyone because it’s filled with nuggets for improving our daily lives, relationships, happiness……

She also compiled an ebook and I was given the opportunity to be part of it.

Debbie: Thanks for your lovely comments on the blog and also for giving me that opportunity to be part of your free ebook/guide.

Ken Wert: If you are looking for a blog with so much depth, it’s got to be Ken’s blog. I was introduced to Kens blog not too long ago by Dia, we’ve exchanged emails on 2/3 occasions and I must say he is a lovely man. I am hoping that the connection established will grow from strength to strength.

Ken: I’ve spotted a few things on your blog that has given me ideas for future projects. A big thank you  in advance for contributing to the life skills magazine this month.

Linda Hewett: I read a guest post of Linda on a blog(can’t remember right now) and suddenly felt a chill down my spine because she had lived all that she was talking about. I sent her a mail asking if she wouldnt mind contributing to the magazine and her response was warm and friendly.

She birthed The Positive spin Column on the magazine and 4 journals down the line, it’s growing stronger in each edition.
Linda: Thanks for sharing your journals on the blog and magazine. I believe it’s making a tremendous impact and providing a huge form of encouragement.

Karen Cripps: I absolutely adore Karen. Trust me if you want to gain motivation, laugh, learn about fashion and style  or know a bit more about decorating your home, places to visit..(the list is endless….) then Karen is the lady for you.
Karen checks on me when she can and I won’t forget her encouraging mail which provided some support during the period I was slated for generating airy fairy topics as well as being a waste of space laugh!!!

She started the trend of ‘mr smiley hmmh!! (to be honest I don’t smile that much(John Sherry give your verdict please).

I’ve never met her but I can tell she’s so lovely.

Karen: I wish you all the good things that life has to offer and hopes that the recovery programme turns out the way you expect it to. Lots of love.

Emma(Clearly Composed):

Oh! Emma, where have you been? This is one lady I have so much respect for. She’s nice, friendly, very caring……

She has also on a few occasions checked on my welfare using twitter; now that’s what I call using social media constructively.

Emma: Although you are on a break CC, I really, really appreciate you and you all do.

Bryan Thompson: I’ve always wondered what it’s like pastoring a church. Although he’s been on and off the scene, he’s certainly not missing in action. Bryans a lovely guy and has showed me so much kindness by granting me the permission to publish each article in his ebook in the magazine.

Bryan: I hope you are enjoying your current time of service and I trust you would grow in strength. You are a top bloke. Take care.

FINALLY

I intend building new relationships online as the days, weeks and months go by, but in the meantime I felt it would be ideal and appropriate celebrating the people who have contributed to my online growth and development.

I’m blessed and fortunate to have crossed your paths and certainly wouldn’t take the connections made for granted.

Thanks for all you do.

Take care and enjoy the rest of the day.

Ayo

P.S. I’m currently working on the next edition of The Life Skills Magazine and it’s due to be published on Wednesday

This post is dedicated to anyone going through some form of bitterness.

It doesn’t provide an entire solution to the problem because the degrees and causes of bitterness vary from one individual to another.

However, I hope this article makes a difference and gives someone the hope and encouragement required at this time.

The Daily Mail published an article stating ‘Harbouring Bitterness Increases The Likelihood Of Physical Disease.’

Professor Wrosch (Montreal’s Concordia University Department of Psychology) suggests ‘persistent bitterness may result in global feelings of anger and hostility that when strong enough, could affect a person’s physical health.’

He’s also investigated how negative emotions, such as regret or sadness, affect people and singles out how failure is one of the most frequent causes of bitterness.

He believes bitterness harboured over a long period could forecast patterns of biological dysregulation (a physiological impairment that can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function) and physical disease.

Finally, he suggests bitterness can be avoided if people who experience failure: 

• Find other ways to fulfil their goals
• Disengage from fruitless efforts.
• Re-engage in something that’s equally meaningful (e.g. a new job or passion).
• Involve others.
• Engage in Forgiveness. [Embitterment: Societal, psychological, and clinical perspectives (Springer 2011)].

Michael Linden (Head Of The Psychiatric Clinic at Free University of Berlin 2003) argues that bitterness is actually a medical disorder and should be categorised as post-traumatic embitterment disorder (PTED).

He estimates that between one and two per cent of the population is embittered and by giving the condition a proper name, people with PTED will receive the therapeutic attention they deserve.

While I’m a bit cautious about the conclusions made from the research, this post will attempt to suggest a few ways of dealing with bitterness.

The Free Online Dictionary defines bitterness as a feeling of deep anger, ill-will, hostility and intense resentment.

It is a non-productive emotion that can destroy relationships and keep one from focusing on their own well-being

Have I had my fair share of bitterness?

YES!!! and there are still occasions it still creeps up in my head/heart/mind.

There are times when I’ve been:

• Dumped in a relationship.
• Classed as a complete failure.
• Bullied at a young age and came in contact with the bully later in life requiring my assistance.
• Stereotyped because of sex, skin colour and faith.
• Swindled by people I trusted.
• Fallen into traps set out by people with intent to hurt me emotionally.
• Experienced losses.

The list is endless…….

During these moments of bitterness, the following tends to occur:

• An intense feeling of shock to my system.
• My ego feels bruised and wounded.
• I suddenly get into a defensive mode in order to shield my hurt.
• I gradually succumb to the feelings of anger because the more I think about the wrongs or those who have hurt me, the deeper I fall into the realms of resentment and despair.

Maya Angelou states ‘Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.

Once again the aim of this post is to suggest simple ways of dealing with bitterness.

In no particular order they are as follows:

Don’t Suppress Or Deny Your Feelings 

Identify and admit the feelings of bitterness. It’s important to recognize how you feel about the issues that trigger those feelings and pursue some form of clarity because your ultimate aim/goal is to experience peace and happiness within.

You may also need to find a way of expressing your frustrations constructively because it provides a bit of relief when overwhelmed with bitterness.

Be Around People

When faced with bitterness, it’s important to be around people you are accountable to, who won’t withhold any form of encouragement from you or keep you at arms length as you share/express your frustrations.

Focus on your options

Focus on the reality of the situations responsible for your bitterness. Think deeply about the possible ways of resolving those hurtful feelings and channel your efforts constructively with a view of doing things that would give you a fair amount of joy and happiness.

The more options you have for dealing with negative thoughts/situations, the better you are at managing your frustrations and bitterness.

Don’t Stress Over Things You Can’t Control

You must not lose sight of this please. There are certain events you can’t change, so it’s important to avoid stressing over things you can’t control because it only fuels bitterness and leads to constant worry and anxiety.

Remember, you are in control of your thoughts/actions and you may not be as helpless as you perceive to be. 

Be Realistic

Be realistic with your own affairs and people that govern your life. Try as much as possible to keep your emotions in check

Engage In The Act Of Gratitude

There are so many things to be grateful for. Learn to count your blessings and express gratitude for the good things of life as well as people that have come your way.

Engage In Confrontation Cautiously

You should confront the issue of bitterness by communicating your feelings to the parties responsible cautiously, not in an accusatory manner or ways which could generate intense conflict thereby creating more unrest within.

Melody of the deliberate receiving blog has published an extensive article on confrontation.

Spend Some Time Alone

Take time out to reflect on the issues causing bitterness because it may provide you with a clearer and rational perspective. Some time alone could also prevent unnecessary emotional outbursts which could bring regret in the future.

Work On Your Attitude

Having a positive attitude enhances optimism which helps you manage worries, conditions your thoughts and helps you deal with the issue of bitterness.

The benefits are as follows: 

• It creates a some form of inspiration and motivation.
• It equips you with the ability to overcome various difficulties.
• It helps in dealing with and managing your bruised ego.
• It allows you communicate your feelings effectively.

Feel good about yourself

Always feel good about who you are (constructively), where you are now and display confidence about what to look forward to in the future.

It’s important to avoid excessive self criticism because it triggers negative feelings which only result in bitterness.

Rise up to the challenge

The negative events of the past often create tough challenges for the present because there’s a desire to wish the past away, live in regret, blame others for our circumstances…………

In order to rise above the level of being constantly tormented by bitterness, you need to live up to the challenge of staying strong through the difficult periods.

You can’t change past events/incidences, but you can definitely shape your future by dealing with the current challenges of life constructively.

Find Peace

Seek to be at peace internally because it puts you in the right frame of mind.

Forgiveness is essential but it doesn’t mean tolerating wrong doings or immediately reconciling with those who hurt you. It’s very important because it creates peace within.

Relax

There’s nothing else to write on this subject but ‘JUST RELAX!!’. Sleep, go for a walk in the park, listen to music……..

Live Your Life.

LIVE YOUR LIFE and LIVE IT WELL!!! Make good use of the opportunities that come your way. Spend time with your friends, family, children…. If you can, live life to its fullest(constructively) rather than focusing so much on your bitterness.

Face Your Fears

Face your fears by starting all over again, taking risks, building positive relationships, sharing the hurt experienced with friends, family…..

Let your thoughts of the future be inspiring, memorable, motivating, inspiring and encouraging.

Seek Professional Help

Employing the services of a counsellor, coach, psychotherapist etc. could be effective in dealing with the feelings of bitterness.

If you feel the need for professional advice, do not hesitate to call or visit your local GP, a professional counsellor or psychotherapist.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

Footnote:

This article focuses on a few ways to deal with bitterness but:

In the wake of the london and england riots,

There are absolutely no immediate words of comfort, counselling, theories, answers… I can provide that would wipe out the feelings of hurt, anger and bitterness people feel towards different sections of the society at large.

However I salute the courage of:

People remaining steadfast as they rebuild their homes & businesses

The community for coming out to clear the streets in ‘riot clean up’

The father who has lost his sons but is still speaking out against the violence

The emergency services(police, the ambulance service, fire service……..)

and many more……..

I pray for the families who have lost their loved ones, families who have been displaced from their houses, people who have lost all hope, people who tend to be misguided…….

Finally I hope and pray peace is completely restored to the entire cities/places involved.