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I have very few friends & i try as much as possible to maintain communication with them. No one can exist in isolation. People often think getting in touch is more like hardwork, but i am of the opinion if you value true friendship, you would go the extra mile to see things work out.
Friends are essential for networking, some could advance to become business partners, spouses (my wife was first my friend), family friends, you name it. IT’S IMPORTANT TO HAVE FRIENDS and certain factors make friendship true. Maintaining true friendship should come easy to everyone, remember i said , you can go the extra mile if you value the person.
Here are my suggestions to building true friendship:
- Develop/define what your relationship is all about. A lot of people don’t define their relationship & this could dangerous. You might be thinking of a casual relationship while the other might be thinking of a romantic one. Be clear with your friendship, don’t take advantage of people. Once you have established a relationship, develop it, build on it make sure your foundation is firm.
- Understand & support one another. Know the likes/dislikes, be strong for one another, be a shoulder for one to cry on, if necessary.
- Learn to be a good listener, bearing in mind you would want to be listened to also.
- Develop trust over time. Trust is earned & not a right. Respect each others’ views/opinions.
- Trust is key and essential to make friendship true. Learn to keep each others’ secrets if any, don’t be judgemental based on previous knowledge about your friend. Always bear in mind you were priviledged to have that information.
- Establish communication. Keep in touch, call each other, visit one another, establish healthy forms of communication.
- Remember memorable days, birthdays, occasions, christmas etc, Share the joys of a new job, a newborn, a new car, success in exams, marriage etc.
- Be useful in every avenue to your friends. Also share in the pains, the loss of a loved one, rejection, broken hearts etc. Understand no one is perfect. Know there will be times offences will come, but learn to forgive easily.This is the hallmark of TRUE FRIENDSHIP.
- Learn to defend your friend, should the need arise. Don’t engage in gossip about him/her. Stand up to anyone regarding issues relating your friends. Show loyalty always.
- Enjoy being with & seen with your friends.
Finally, never take your friends for granted. This is the major cause of friendship failures. Understand people are nice, good, caring, easy going etc by nature.
They shouldn’t be taken for granted for various qualities they possess. Learn to respect one another.
With these tips, WOULD YOU TRY BUILDING TRUE FRIENDSHIP TODAY?
Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach. He is also an Accredited Professional Counsellor with the Counselling Society.
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