Don’t Give Up On Life

It’s been a very hectic week maintaining a balance with my family, work, the blog, studies…….. but it was worth every moment.

This post was inspired by yesterday’s news ‘Young people self-harming with sharp objects up 50%’. It was broadcast on BBC News Beat, Sky News, the BBC website and because it kept coming up at intervals, it gave me food for thought.

This post focuses on practical tips in dealing with the obstacles of life and I sincerely hope it would provide alternatives to your thoughts on giving up on life, self harm, discouragement……..

The report lists a few reasons for self harm such as:

  • Family difficulties
  • Feeling desperate about a problem and don’t know where to turn for help
  • Bottling up all sorts of emotional tension till you feel like exploding.
  • Experiencing guilt or shame that becomes unbearable.
  • Going through various forms of abuse or trauma.
  • Your body image
  • Going through stress at work
  • Facing school pressures.                                         (Culled From The BBC)

The Free Dictionary defines the phrase ‘Give Up’ as the loss of hope, admitting defeat and the act of surrendering with no will to fight again.

Albert Einstein states ‘It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.’

Life is filled with so many challenges. You’ve got to do your best to gain control of your emotions and stay on top of each situation despite its difficulty.

Once again, DON’T GIVE UP ON LIFE.

WHY????

My Response: Life issues are common problems or crisis that happens to everyone living normal lives. You can turn it around constructively or the difficulties face, could be useful catalysts for success and finally there is happiness, fulfilment, satisfaction gained as result of facing the struggles of life.

The aim of this post is to encourage you NOT TO GIVE UP ON LIFE and suggest useful ways of dealing with the events of life.

When the world says, “Give up,”Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.” Author Unknown

Take some time to consider the following:

What’s On Your Mind

You need to identify the negative events that constantly weigh you down and wear you out. Figure out all the things in your life that promote stress. It could be unsupportive relationships, failures, work stress, physical or mental abuse….

For a start, you could answer these questions:

  • What’s on your mind?
  • Is it worth your time and energy?
  • Are you able to trace when it started becoming an issue?
  • Have you been affected physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally…….?

Once you have an idea of what these obstacles are, it’s time to take steps in the right direction to minimize their impact.

Condition your thoughts

Often times, you can’t face challenges because you are so engrossed in negative thoughts. Approaching the struggles of life with so much pessimism isn’t very healthy. There’s a likelihood of making wrong choices and incorrect judgments.

In the real world, it’s normal to feel hurt, wounded, betrayed and exhausted, but it’s no excuse to give up on life.

Give room for healing to take place, be moderately optimistic and try as much as you can to GET A GRIP ON YOUR THOUGHTS.

You Are Not Alone

In the words of Michael Jackson, ‘You are not alone…..

There have been a few people who have experienced similar issues and could be a source of help to you. There are books, blogs, communities, clubs, and support groups etc that solely cater for specific issues that bring about unrest.

You could browse various personal development sites online or check the yellow pages for various support groups that could be of assistance.

Be Secured In Who You Are

Insecurity has no place in the game of life. Learn to love and appreciate who you are constructively.

Underestimating your capabilities will make you a pitiful insecure individual and push you closer to the realms of GIVING UP ON LIFE.

Accept who you are, what you have, be confident in yourself, so you could move on with the knowledge of being a unique/distinguished individual.

Develop Your Self-Efficacy

Self efficacy simply believes you are able to perform in a certain manner in order to attain specific goals and make life meaningful.

It is developed over time by responding positively to challenges with actions, motivation and persistence.

Researchers suggest self-efficacy can be increased by setting realistic goals, having mentors, living a life of purpose and through positive affirmation.

Face Your Challenges.

In order to rise above the feeling of giving up on life, you need to face your challenges, stay strong. Understand you can’t change the past, because it’s happened, but you can shape your future by dealing with the current challenges of life positively.

Your perspective of the future can change once you embrace the knowledge of standing up to life’s challenges.

You can face those challenges by:

  • Doing something positive.
  • Taking a step in the right direction.
  • Making very tough decisions eg.reducing your alcohol limits, losing contact with a few friends, breaking free from certain relationships.
  • Becoming proactive.
  • Going back to areas where you have experienced failure and TRY AGAIN.

Discuss Your Fears

Don’t be scared of sharing your feelings/anxieties with trusted friends, family or professionals.

Sharing problems with people you trust is therapeutic and will release the bottled up emotions giving you a clear head, peace of mind and move you towards a life of happiness.

Feel Good About Yourself

Celebrate your achievements and enjoy every wonderful experience you’ve had. According to research people feeling depressed fail to pay attention to their success, achievements or strengths.

Feel good about who you are (positively), where you are now and display confidence about what to look forward to in the future.

Slow down on excessive self criticism because over time, constant negative feelings result in negative affirmations.

One more thing: Spoil yourself occasionally, it doesn’t hurt at all.

Communicate Your Feelings Properly

This is very important because it promotes understanding and puts the message you are trying to pass across in the right context.

Ensure you express yourself in an appropriate manner and where there is a tendency to act irrational; exercise a bit of self discipline, pull yourself together (it may be difficult considering the circumstances involved; but it is important).

Develop Resilience

Resilience is the ability to spring back from and successfully adjust to the complex issues of life. It is the ability to develop strength in the midst of your frustrations.

Developing resilience when faced with the thoughts of giving up on life is essential because:

  • You develop positive moods suitable for your health.
  • You can handle and cope with different forms of stress and difficulties
  • You build optimism
  • You make a certain amount of progress

Learn From Your Experience

Form the habit of managing your failures carefully. It is a phase everyone must go through. You can see it as a golden opportunity to rewrite the scripts of success.

Think a little bit about the painful/difficult events of the past; how you can prevent some from occurring again and how you can improve on various actions you’ve taken which eventually led to positive outcomes.

In carrying out this exercise, avoid being too critical of yourself, but rather reflect on all that you’ve learnt.

Build Positive Relationships

Building positive relationships with a network of trusted friends could provide huge benefits such as enhancing your level of reasoning, expanding your horizon, having a shoulder to lean on……

In the context of friendship, if you’ve developed trust with certain individuals and isn’t scared to discuss private matters with a fear of being judged or getting disappointed, go ahead.

There are several approaches to resolving different issues and you can learn from the experience of others. Getting sound counsel could reduce stress levels and bring about happiness.

Positive relationships also create some sort of accountability to people who won’t be afraid to speak up when you are going down a dangerous route or snatch you when you are heading for disaster.

Finally;

Get Professional Help

You can’t undermine the importance of counselling or any form of talking therapies. If you sense the need for professional advice, do not hesitate to call or visit your local GP, a professional counsellor or psychotherapist.

This is straight from my heart ‘DON’T GIVE UP ON LIFE.’

I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

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23 Comments

emmanuel.o.

about 5 years ago

hi ayo, it's been a while i could really feel your passion and energy behind this post. You sounded as if you were talking to someone in front of you. i respect this. thanks for posting this

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

thanks for your comments emmanuel. how are you? hope to hear from you again. take care

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kenny

about 5 years ago

i wondered why i hadnt read from you in the last few days. i'd have to agree with emmanuel, this post is touching. if i may add my 2 cents be happy, surround yourself with family, believe in yourself. great post

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

thanks for your comments kenny. i've been so busy in the last week but things are settling down you have mentioned important points here. take care then

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Kim

about 5 years ago

Hello Ayo, I thoroughly enjoyed your heart-felt message that I will definitely share. Having support, whether it be in personal relationships or with a professional, is so important to a person going through difficulties, isolation or despair. Situations can take a positive turn when we decide, take responsibility and definite action to change, and allow support from others to help us through transitions. Your points here are invaluable. Take Care, Kim

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi kim, how are you? i am glad you enjoyed the article and thanks for choosing to share it.(smile) i totally agree with the concept of experiencing a turn around when we decide to take responsibility and make important steps. take care and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

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Catrien Ross

about 5 years ago

Ayo, thank you, I feel you have written a very good post on a very important topic. It ties in with another report I read about Britain having one of the highest suicide rates in Europe. That is giving up on your life with a finality that cannot be reversed. Your steps are excellent, but it is clear that so many people do not take these steps, perhaps because they don't know that such steps towards healing are accessible, or because they don't know how to bring themselves to the point of taking the first step. Getting the positive hope out through posts like this is truly helpful, and the information needs to become much more widely available. Warm wishes to you from the mountains in Japan - Catrien Ross. .-= Catrien Ross´s last blog ..Catrien Ross on Blasting Mount Fuji to Bits – Does Live-Fire Artillery Count As a Spiritual Distraction? =-.

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi catrien, how are you? now the report you've read is another shocker. it grieves my heart when i see the statistcs. i just hope this post will make a difference in someones life take care and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

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Karen

about 5 years ago

Hi Ayo. Great post with very valuable information. I'm glad to see resilence here as I think that it is one of those qualities that allow you to roll with many of life's struggles. Knowing that someone else has also gone through what you are going through and has been succesful, is also very important. There people out there and support groups for every life circumstances. Just knowing that you are not alone can be a major motivator to not give up. I am really glad that you have also advised seeking professional help. Getting the correct medication and talking to someone who is objective and trained, can make all the difference. One of my personal mottos is: 'This too shall pass". Nothing lasts forever and knowing that my current difficult situation will not be forever, helps me realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Karen .-= Karen´s last blog ..Friday’s Links =-.

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi karen, how are you? great to have you here. thanks for your contribution to the topic & i love that motto this too shall pass because nothing lasts forever. take care

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Tisha

about 5 years ago

Hi there Ayo, You are SO right that discussing fears is imperative to do when facing feelings of giving up. Too many people feel ashamed about how they are feeling and would never admit to someone else that things have gone so awry. But when we give voice to our fears in the presence of a caring, trusted individual not only do we allow ourselves to recieve the kind of loving support we need, but we reduce the power of the negative feelings by "airing them out." Hearing the drastic thoughts out loud can often highlight how useless they are and point us in the direction of getting help. Staying around positive people is also critical because they can remind us of the good things in our lives - however small we think they are. It's crazy how our minds will so willingly accept negative information but we're often so quick to discount or downplay our achievements. Aligning ourselves with naturally "sunny" people can help give us the perspective we need to resist giving in to a downward emotional slide. Thanks, Ayo, for a great post and for shining a light out to those who may be facing dark moments!

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi tisha, how are you? thanks for taking it a step further by shedding more light on it and providing an insight. do have a lovely day.

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Ben

about 5 years ago

Nice post Ayo - very well put. We need to be raising children who are emotionally fit for life. Too many parents let their kids just grow up without any concern for how their emotions are developing. We need to be working with your kids to develop their emotional mastery. .-= Ben´s last blog ..I’ve won the Lottery =-.

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi ben, how are you? i agree wholeheartedly with your thoughts on raising children to be emotionally fit for life. take care

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Cheryl Paris

about 5 years ago

Hello Ayo, How are you doing? Excellent Post!!! If we give up we will never succeed. We need to try each day. As Life has it's own way to teach us lesson. We need to teach our kids to be better communicators. As communication done in the right way can lead to opening of many doors to achieving success. But there are times when we cannot catch everything. We cannot just get stuck forever and give that as a reason to quit. QUITTING is not an option...if one wants to succeed. Bye for now, Cheryl .-= Cheryl Paris´s last blog ..Saturday 9: Gimme Three Steps Girl =-.

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi cheryl, how are you? you are right quitting is not an option. it may be rough, difficult, hopeless and at times emotionally draining but i hope someone has gained something from this post and comments. take care

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Fatima Da

about 5 years ago

Hello Ayo, This is a truly powerful and inspirational post with very rich content and I do hope the message in it reaches out and change the ways of those who need it . Thanks for sharing :) .-= Fatima Da´s last blog ..Negative Thoughts Evacuation =-.

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi fatima, how are you? i am also hope it would create a constructive change in someones life take care

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Baker

about 5 years ago

Hello There are great pieces of advice here. I have found that when I am creating a positive mental attitude in what I'm doing, that energy produced from my attitude is what brings about the best outcome possible, you are right never give up on life, and stay positive. Nicely written. Baker

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hello baker, how are you? great to have you here and thanks for your comment.

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Ben Weston

about 5 years ago

Hey Ayo, I really enjoyed reading the post and it came at a great time. Being new to blogging, it can often feel overwhelming learning the ropes, keeping up with the online community, and maintaining a balanced life. Of your list, I think knowing that I am probably not the only one that has gone through this and that I have the ability to get through this are the most helpful. Take care, Ben .-= Ben Weston´s last blog ..The 2 Most Effective Visualization Techniques =-.

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Ayo Olaniyan

about 5 years ago

hi ben, i'm glad you enjoyed the post. take care

Reply

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