It’s been a very hectic week maintaining a balance with my family, work, the blog, studies…….. but it was worth every moment.
This post was inspired by yesterday’s news ‘Young people self-harming with sharp objects up 50%’. It was broadcast on BBC News Beat, Sky News, the BBC website and because it kept coming up at intervals, it gave me food for thought.
This post focuses on practical tips in dealing with the obstacles of life and I sincerely hope it would provide alternatives to your thoughts on giving up on life, self harm, discouragement……..
The report lists a few reasons for self harm such as:
- Family difficulties
- Feeling desperate about a problem and don’t know where to turn for help
- Bottling up all sorts of emotional tension till you feel like exploding.
- Experiencing guilt or shame that becomes unbearable.
- Going through various forms of abuse or trauma.
- Your body image
- Going through stress at work
- Facing school pressures. (Culled From The BBC)
The Free Dictionary defines the phrase ‘Give Up’ as the loss of hope, admitting defeat and the act of surrendering with no will to fight again.
Albert Einstein states ‘It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.’
Life is filled with so many challenges. You’ve got to do your best to gain control of your emotions and stay on top of each situation despite its difficulty.
Once again, DON’T GIVE UP ON LIFE.
My Response: Life issues are common problems or crisis that happens to everyone living normal lives. You can turn it around constructively or the difficulties face, could be useful catalysts for success and finally there is happiness, fulfilment, satisfaction gained as result of facing the struggles of life.
The aim of this post is to encourage you NOT TO GIVE UP ON LIFE and suggest useful ways of dealing with the events of life.
When the world says, “Give up,”Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.” Author Unknown
Take some time to consider the following:
What’s On Your Mind
You need to identify the negative events that constantly weigh you down and wear you out. Figure out all the things in your life that promote stress. It could be unsupportive relationships, failures, work stress, physical or mental abuse….
For a start, you could answer these questions:
- What’s on your mind?
- Is it worth your time and energy?
- Are you able to trace when it started becoming an issue?
- Have you been affected physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally…….?
Once you have an idea of what these obstacles are, it’s time to take steps in the right direction to minimize their impact.
Condition your thoughts
Often times, you can’t face challenges because you are so engrossed in negative thoughts. Approaching the struggles of life with so much pessimism isn’t very healthy. There’s a likelihood of making wrong choices and incorrect judgments.
In the real world, it’s normal to feel hurt, wounded, betrayed and exhausted, but it’s no excuse to give up on life.
Give room for healing to take place, be moderately optimistic and try as much as you can to GET A GRIP ON YOUR THOUGHTS.
You Are Not Alone
In the words of Michael Jackson, ‘You are not alone…..
There have been a few people who have experienced similar issues and could be a source of help to you. There are books, blogs, communities, clubs, and support groups etc that solely cater for specific issues that bring about unrest.
You could browse various personal development sites online or check the yellow pages for various support groups that could be of assistance.
Be Secured In Who You Are
Insecurity has no place in the game of life. Learn to love and appreciate who you are constructively.
Underestimating your capabilities will make you a pitiful insecure individual and push you closer to the realms of GIVING UP ON LIFE.
Accept who you are, what you have, be confident in yourself, so you could move on with the knowledge of being a unique/distinguished individual.
Develop Your Self-Efficacy
Self efficacy simply believes you are able to perform in a certain manner in order to attain specific goals and make life meaningful.
It is developed over time by responding positively to challenges with actions, motivation and persistence.
Researchers suggest self-efficacy can be increased by setting realistic goals, having mentors, living a life of purpose and through positive affirmation.
Face Your Challenges.
In order to rise above the feeling of giving up on life, you need to face your challenges, stay strong. Understand you can’t change the past, because it’s happened, but you can shape your future by dealing with the current challenges of life positively.
Your perspective of the future can change once you embrace the knowledge of standing up to life’s challenges.
You can face those challenges by:
- Doing something positive.
- Taking a step in the right direction.
- Making very tough decisions eg.reducing your alcohol limits, losing contact with a few friends, breaking free from certain relationships.
- Becoming proactive.
- Going back to areas where you have experienced failure and TRY AGAIN.
Discuss Your Fears
Don’t be scared of sharing your feelings/anxieties with trusted friends, family or professionals.
Sharing problems with people you trust is therapeutic and will release the bottled up emotions giving you a clear head, peace of mind and move you towards a life of happiness.
Feel Good About Yourself
Celebrate your achievements and enjoy every wonderful experience you’ve had. According to research people feeling depressed fail to pay attention to their success, achievements or strengths.
Feel good about who you are (positively), where you are now and display confidence about what to look forward to in the future.
Slow down on excessive self criticism because over time, constant negative feelings result in negative affirmations.
One more thing: Spoil yourself occasionally, it doesn’t hurt at all.
Communicate Your Feelings Properly
This is very important because it promotes understanding and puts the message you are trying to pass across in the right context.
Ensure you express yourself in an appropriate manner and where there is a tendency to act irrational; exercise a bit of self discipline, pull yourself together (it may be difficult considering the circumstances involved; but it is important).
Resilience is the ability to spring back from and successfully adjust to the complex issues of life. It is the ability to develop strength in the midst of your frustrations.
Developing resilience when faced with the thoughts of giving up on life is essential because:
- You develop positive moods suitable for your health.
- You can handle and cope with different forms of stress and difficulties
- You build optimism
- You make a certain amount of progress
Learn From Your Experience
Form the habit of managing your failures carefully. It is a phase everyone must go through. You can see it as a golden opportunity to rewrite the scripts of success.
Think a little bit about the painful/difficult events of the past; how you can prevent some from occurring again and how you can improve on various actions you’ve taken which eventually led to positive outcomes.
In carrying out this exercise, avoid being too critical of yourself, but rather reflect on all that you’ve learnt.
Build Positive Relationships
Building positive relationships with a network of trusted friends could provide huge benefits such as enhancing your level of reasoning, expanding your horizon, having a shoulder to lean on……
In the context of friendship, if you’ve developed trust with certain individuals and isn’t scared to discuss private matters with a fear of being judged or getting disappointed, go ahead.
There are several approaches to resolving different issues and you can learn from the experience of others. Getting sound counsel could reduce stress levels and bring about happiness.
Positive relationships also create some sort of accountability to people who won’t be afraid to speak up when you are going down a dangerous route or snatch you when you are heading for disaster.
Get Professional Help
You can’t undermine the importance of counselling or any form of talking therapies. If you sense the need for professional advice, do not hesitate to call or visit your local GP, a professional counsellor or psychotherapist.
This is straight from my heart ‘DON’T GIVE UP ON LIFE.’
I look forward to your comments and suggestions.