Here are my findings (It’s not a new but ……) from a little survey carried out with a few women. The goal of this topic is to build better relationships with our spouses. I must warn they seem old school, I like it and the most important thing is they work!!!
Love Her:
Your very first responsibility towards your spouse is to love her. Love her even when you are upset with her. It brings about correction without too many arguments. Love is a very deep subject; my definition of love is -an endless act of showing care, attention, goodness, friendliness etc. even when it hurts. Let your love be unconditional, even when it seems difficult. Make sure your love has no boundaries.
Support your spouse:
Learn to be a pillar to her, be supportive of her ideas, show interest in her feelings, always allow her count on you. Be courageous, be firm and be in control of major situations. Play your role as a man about/around her.
Listen:
Learn to listen to her, women really appreciate it when they get your attention. It’s difficult but try to feel, see and understand the points being raised.
Nurture Her:
Learn to nurture , care for her. Never forget birthdays, anniversaries, occassions etc. Learn to spoil her were neccessary with gifts, go for trips, go shopping, watch movies, do things together etc. Occassionally spring up SURPRISES.
Compliment Her:
Compliment her always. Appreciate her beauty, her new hair do, the dress she just bought, the dinner/ lunch she prepared etc. Always pass positive compliments, it woos her. Compliment her in front of friends & families.
Be Honest:
Let her learn to trust you, be honest, open, never lie to her. Trust is earned, whatever you do make sure you EARN HER TRUST.
Your spouse must be of higher priority, compared to family/friends. Make sure friends & family respect her & treat her with courteousness.
Be Fair:
Never allow your judgements, be based on what is said by outsiders. Make sure you never lash out at her in public view, even when she is wrong & needs correction. Find better ways/ methods to pass the message across.
Let her be:
Learn to allow her have time to herself to do her own things. We all need that, so they should also have that benefit.
Love your children:
If you’ve got children, be a good father to your children. Love , support and care for them.
Be Romantic:
Spend quality time with her.
Be romantic, candle light dinners, verbal affirmations, physical touch, sight seeing etc should do the trick. Spice up your love life, show some romance, there is nothing wrong in being romantic. A set of flowers, a wedding ring, a make over , spa treatment, foot rub, a hot bath, bed in breakfast, etc. MAKE HER FEEL SHE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.
I saved this for last. Have a good sex life. This is of high importance to women. Pay attention to what she likes in bed and make her feel very SEXY.
DOES THIS MAKE US SOFTIES, NO!!!! I THINK IT IMPROVES OUR RELATIONSHIP.
I look forward to your comments.
Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach. He is also an Accredited Professional Counsellor with the Counselling Society.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
interesting read. waiting too see your views for women in relation to men.
then i will pass judhements.
but it was a nice article.
Well man this one is good one. You are really a great writer. You know and searched vastly before writting the posts. I really appreciate it. Good job.
Zaem – Thanks for stopping by and your kind words