I intended to take a break from blogging on relationships for a while, but I couldn’t resist the temptation after listening to one of my favourite radio presenters James O’Brien (LBC 97.3fm) on Friday, discussing how eating at the dining table with your spouse, partner, children, friends… builds healthy relationships.
Many callers to the show said eating at the dining table together promotes healthy conversations, increases bonding, improves concentration etc.
The concept of this post isn’t to promote self righteous acts, but create an avenue for you to think on ways to improve your relationships with friends, family, spouses, colleagues etc or find out different ways your relationships with people have fared better as a result of a conscious decision or effort to do something new.
I remember a rare occasion during the Christmas holidays, the whole family slept together in the living room. It was so much fun for my three year old son because he could stay up later than usual, have us read his bedtime stories on the floor and tell us more imaginary stories about fireman Sam. My 5month old daughter showed so much excitement by blowing bubbles and rattling her toys. It gave us more time to talk to each other, reflect and allow our thoughts wander away into…….
As a result we’ve decided to continue with this routine every Friday and we’ve enjoyed every minute of it.
Listening to James O’Brien and several callers highlighting the benefits of eating at the dining table together such as discussing the events of the day, having a laugh, relaxing, children picking up proper table manners etc, I’ve decided to give it a shot on weekends with the kids (breakfast & lunch) and 3-4 nights with my wifey loll!!!
Remember: The context of the post is to look for creative ways to build healthier relationships with people that affect your life daily.
The benefits of improving your relationships are as follows:
- It increases communication.
- It reduces stress.
- It builds trust.
- It allows you share each other’s burdens with a view to lifting your spirits.
- It enables you spend quality time with each other.
- You become enlightened on several issues you have no knowledge of.
- You find a helping hand when you are in need.
- It brings about happiness and excitement.
These and many more…….
Eating at the dining table isn’t the only way to build healthier relationships.
Have you got anymore ideas or tips?
I look forward to your comments and suggestions.
Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive Life Coach, an Accredited Professional Counsellor with the Counselling Society and the editor of The Life Skills Magazine. For further information, please complete this form.
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ayo, i love this!!!
how about walking together, going to the movies, i personally love shopping together.
hmm!!!! kenny do you want me to guess why you love shopping together???? lol!!
Beautiful! it seems a lot of these special bonding moments happen around a meal for me, too. For my small family of three, I’ve found laying together, making art together, pounding on drums or listening to music together do a lot for setting the stage for a lot of goofiness and spontaneous laughter.
hi belinda,
it’s great to know that eating at the table creates those special bonding moments and I can tell from your comment you seem to enjoy all the(and many more) activities with your family lol!!
Hi Ayo – Very timely for me, since I’m just starting to add relationship coaching to my bag of tricks. I’m working with my first couple right now. For my husband and me (we’re a family of two, not counting cats), if we can eat together at the table, spend time each evening sharing our day and mirroring back to each other, do something special/new each week, then we will be good to go. If we don’t do that, then things can derail.
Oh, I recently heard this beautiful quote. I don’t remember it exactly, but something like: the smallest form of community is a family. I loved that (and your post).
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays: The Hummingbird Edition
hi patty,
thanks for your comment.
wishing you the best as you take on relationship coaching. hmm!!! it appears my thoughts on eating at the table together may be expanding more than i imagined.
Ayo Olaniyan´s last blog ..What Can You Do To Improve Your Relationships?
There is something special about breaking bread with family and friends. It is time well spent when listening, talking, and laughing together. My husband and I spend special time together as we walk the dogs after work. It is a time to let the stress or worries of the day flow out through the bottom of my feet as I breath fresh air, take in the beauty of the earth, and talk and laugh with the man of my dreams.
Erin´s last blog ..Be Strong and Courageous
i couldn’t agree more erin.
Hi Ayo,
I do like the whole concept of eating at the table together. My wife has cooked every meal for our family every night since my kids were babies. She is from a Greek family and being around the table is a way of life. We always waited for the kids to get home from school or work before we ate so that we all could be together.
I think there are many things that can be done to build healthier relationships like taking a walk together or just sitting down when I get home from work and talking about the day. I also email back and forth with my wife during the day about what’s going on that day. I know, it’s not as personal as being in-person, but it’s my only option while at work.
Sometimes watching a TV show together that we both enjoy like No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain (not sure if you know of him in the UK). When we were younger we would like to watch the DIY channels together. There are so many possibilities…:-)
Best,
Bob
Bob Bessette´s last blog ..5 Parental Tips for Dealing with College Separation Anxiety.
hi bob,
I have come to a conclusion after reading your comment.
you speak with a wealth of experience. I loved your tips particularly the emailing back and forth. (we send loads of text messages to each other lol!!!)
take care
There’s many things you can do to improve your relationships no matter what kind it is. I think the biggest ways in my eyes and these are coming from my own personal experiences are communication and trust. Lose one of those are you’re successfully going to fail.
Good Post!
Eric´s last blog ..Lets Help Each Other
i love this it’s so true – our eldest son is now away at uni and we so look forward to him coming home on Friday’s (most anyway) we enjoy standing in the kitchen or sitting round the dinner table, sometimes we dont go to bed until the early hours of the morning talking even about the silliest of things but it’s good….. younger one will be going this year so hopefully we will carry on even after they get married etc,etc time together as a family is a MUST……………
Hello Kaz,
All I can say is you are ONE LOVELY PARENT!!!!
I hope to hear from you again.